Sunday, 27 May 2007

How Aussie Are Ya?

Colin over at Adelaide Green Porridge Cafe posted a questionnaire which it is proposed new Australians (read: immigrants) will need to complete before gaining citizenship. Being a true-blue, dinky-di Aussie born and bred, I thought I'd give it a burl:

1. Which colours are represented on the Australian flag?
A: Green and Gold, or black, yellow and red

2. Indigenous people have lived in Australia for how many years?
A: A hell of a lot more than Europeans

3. What is Australia's national flower
A: Jennifer Hawkins

4. Australia's political system is called a...
A: Joke

5. What is the capital of Australia
A: The local pub

6. Which animals are on the Australian Coat of Arms?
A: Kangaroo and Emu, best served with chips, plum sauce and a beer

7. Where did the first European settlers to Australia come from?
A: The British penal system

8. Who is Australia's head of state?
A: The old biddy

9. Who was the first Prime Minister of Australia?
A: Some dead pom

10. What song is Australia's national anthem?
A: "More beer, more beer, more beer more beer"
A: "You're going home in the back of a divvy van"
A: "We're happy little Vegemites"
A: "Khe Sahn"

11. What do you call the elected head of a state government?
A: A wanka

12. Which federal political party or parties are in power?
A: The wrong ones, not that the opposition is any better

13. What does Anzac Day commemorate?
A: War heroes who fought to secure our way of life

14. In what year did the first European settlers arrive?
A: The darkest year in the history of the Aboriginals

15. How many states are there in Australia?
A: 3 - sober, pissed and unconscious

16. What is Australia's biggest river system?
A: On the verge of extinction

PS: if you are applying for citizenship into Australia, the above answers are not what the bureaucrats are looking for....even though they should be....

Songs played while writing this entry:
"Just Another Victim" Helmet & House Of Pain
"Sweetness And Light" Itch-E And Scratch-E
"D-stomp" The Noise of Art
"You Got Nothing I Want" Cold Chisel
"Beef Situation" Manual
"Under The Bridge" Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Don't Go Now" RatCat
"Epic Future" Alpha Breed

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