Thursday, 8 February 2007

We're Happy Little Vegemites....

Ok, so this toss-pot goes on to YouTube and puts up a video diary entry paying out Australians, kangaroos, our national anthem, boomerangs and - worst of all - Vegemite! Now c'mon, don't dis the Vegemite - it's part of our staple diet. After all, any food substance that is made from the same ingredients as beer has to be good!

From watching the clip, I draw the following conclusions:

  1. toss-pot has eaten Vegemite once in his life and didn't like it, therefore no-one can possibly like it and Vegemite was created purely as a joke against unassuming Americans.
  2. toss-pot has problems articulating simple words - for those playing at home it is Veg-e-mite (just as it looks), not Vee-ge-mite.
  3. all national anthems are written about condiments.
  4. the Australian Aboriginals invented the boomerang when they came to Australia over 40,000 years ago purely for the purpose of fooling tourists in the 20th century.
  5. toss-pot has poor hand-eye co-ordination.
  6. scientific evidence proving that prehistoric kangaroos existed over 50,000 years ago is incorrect.
  7. nothing makes a tourist feel more at home than a fanny-pack (known as a bumbag in Australia due to fanny meaning a completely different part of the human female anatomy).
  8. kangaroos are vicious killing machines.
  9. toss-pot is afraid of things he has not seen in real life.
  10. the sole purpose in every Australian's life is to make fun of Americans. (We actually prefer taking the piss!)
If you have not eaten Vegemite before, please read the Wikipedia article first or you may end up forming the same deluded conclusions as our friend the toss-pot. Me, I smear it on thick - but then I've been eating it for 30-odd years now :)

Songs played while writing this entry:
"Human Behaviour" Bjork
"Twin Town" Ian Wilkie v Timo Maas
"Mutant Was In Love" Taho
"Khe Sanh" Cold Chisel
"Ring Ring Ring (Ha Ha Hey)" De La Soul


Anonymous said...

ok australia s so good country i spend a year there but plese veg e mite s fucking disgusting if it s like the girl in advertisment ok maybe i can love it but it s not!!!! australia have many good thinks but not vegemite.

erik hogstrom said...

I am afraid I cannot weigh in on the Vegemite discussion -- I have never tried the stuff.
However, you listened to "Khe Sanh" by Cold Chisel, which I can say without reservation is one of the BEST ROCK SONGS I HAVE EVER HEARD.

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